The Creature - Part 2

Over the years, the creature began to have fits and spasms, and suffered periodic bouts of complete lunacy. At such times it would send out its army of workers to mess up the roads, ruining perfectly good junctions and road systems by installing ridiculous and poorly thought out traffic schemes that impeded and slowed the processing of the traffic. The creature was causing the roads to clog up even more and was making life more and more difficult for the people as it continued to spend their hard earned cash on its ridiculous schemes. The creature knew it was all powerful, and although trying to pretend differently, it never listened to the people it was once supposed to serve. Over the years it made a mess of many things and during its mad fits and spasms the creature put traffic lights on roundabouts, making them less efficient and causing more congestion. The traffic lights clogged up the roundabouts and people couldn't move when they needed to. The creature even put roundabouts where there should not be roundabouts. They were nonsensical, illogical, just like the creature. They were confusing people and caused accidents and near misses. The creature placed carbuncles on the roads, causing bikers to fall off as the carbuncles suddenly appeared from under a bus and they struck them awkwardly. The carbuncles were dangerous and damaging for emergency vehicles and ruined the quality of motoring for the poor downtrodden people as they tried to dodge them. All such things were green-unfriendly and they compounded pollution as well as vehicle wear and tear, but the creature did not care. The creature caused kerbstones to jut into the road and they became dangerous obstacles that people could and did run into without warning, damaging their vehicles. But the creature simply laughed as it amused itself, running riot, ruining one road after another, after another.

The creature instigated no left turns and no right turns. It blocked access and would not provide access where access was needed, instead it caused people to have to go right out of their way. It turned dual lane approaches into single lane approaches, halving their processing capacity and creating bottlenecks, holding people up and creating even more congestion. It implemented ridiculous priority give way schemes, causing people to have to stop and start when there was otherwise no need to stop. The creature seemed to delight in inconveniencing people and causing trouble for them. Some people would race through such schemes on the wrong side of the road, risking a collision and forcing others to brake sharply, rather than stop and give way to the creature's lunacy. The creature's schemes were adding to frustration and compounding road rage, and again the creature laughed in amusement as it infuriated the people and watched them struggle to cope with its madness and its crazy schemes. Some of the things the creature did were so ridiculous that they left people staring in amazement, for the people could not fathom how the creature they had created with such good intent had so completely lost the plot, behaving as it did. Morale sunk to an all time low, as the people saw more and more of their hard earned money wasted on crazy things that simply made it more difficult for them to go about their business, while the essential things they really needed, such as hospitals, schools and community facilities, were run down and wiped out.

One day the creature completely freaked. Frothing and foaming at the mouth whilst having a particularly bad fit of complete and utter madness, it decided it should create bus lanes everywhere. Now the creature really had lost the plot. Bus lanes just halved the processing capacity of the roads and junctions and caused them to clog up even more. Now the great bulk of the traffic, and the nation's workforce, had to sit in endless queues of traffic, crammed into just half of the road, whilst the school children and the elderly passed along effortlessly on the occasional bus, waving at them, with the empty half of the road all to themselves. It was irrational and the arithmetic simply didn't add up, but the creature's brains had become so completely addled and messed up it didn't know what it was doing anymore. It's true the creature liked to bully people and push them around, but now it thought it could literally bully them into giving up their cars and their personal independence by making life impossible for them. The creature had lost all grip on reality and all empathy with the people it was supposed to be serving. Sometimes people would be tempted to hop across an empty bus lane to get around the corner. But the creature knew all the tricks and one of the creature's many robot eyes would snap yet another victim trying to use their common sense and a money sucking notice would come through the post. The creature had become such a control freak that it couldn't stand the idea of people being allowed to use their common sense. It wanted to control them in every respect, and punish those who did not obey by sucking the money out of them at every opportunity. The roads became the creature's playground as it frivolously and insanely frittered away millions and millions of pounds of the people's hard earned money on making life more difficult for them. The poor downtrodden people began to hate and loathe the creature and its army of cyber-slaves.
Crosstalk by Taz: April 2015


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